Silva Neves

Silva Neves
Psychosexual, Relationship and Couples Therapist

Monday, 25 July 2016

The Trauma of Terrorism

Terrorism is by definition a 'violent action for political purposes'. But that definition doesn't even begin to define what terrorism really is like for the innocent victims of such acts.
Because of its nature, it is a tremendous violent act, one that is completely unpredictable and it usually involves multiple death.
Being a victim of terrorism is to be in the location that the terrorist act took place, either having been directly injured by the act, or in the vicinity, being a witness to such violent action.
When this happens, the 'threat centre' of your brain (the amygdala) will instantly react sending all sorts of chemicals through your brain and nervous system to get your body into flight, fight or freeze, the normal physical response to threat.
As it is such a traumatic event, your mind and body is likely to be disrupted for a while straight after the attack. Some of the most common symptoms are:
  • Shaking: hands, shoulder, muscles, entire body.
  • Anxiety: being super sensitive to loud noise, or unexpected things happening 
  • Feeling depressed
  • Feeling acute anger, including feeling hatred towards self or others.
  • Feeling guilt, often with thoughts that you could have done more to help some people who died. 
  • Feeling hopeless or helpless
  • Poor concentration
  • Not making sense of life
  • Poor sleep
  • Dissociation: not feeling or thinking anything.
  • In shock or in denial: 'did it really happen?'
  • Withdrawal: wanting to isolate yourself.

These symptoms are normal to feel after surviving a terrorist attack. The best you can do soon after the attack is: 
  • Find close friends or family members you love, whom you can talk to and who can provide many hugs to you.
  • Allow yourself to feel the intense emotions of anger and hatred. Often people think that feeling angry and hatred is a bad thing to feel. But, in this instance, it is important to allow your mind and your body not to censor those feelings. It is important that you express those anger and hatred feelings in a safe space, without being aggressive or hurting anyone. You might want to do it on your own, or you might want to express those feelings to a loved one who will not judge you. If you express those feelings in a safe and non-judgemental way, they will not stay in your head and body forever, they will reduce eventually.
  • If you feel depressed and you need to draw the curtains and hide underneath your duvet for a while, do so.
  • If you have critical thoughts: 'I could have done more to help', 'I should have been able to protect people', 'I should have avoided it', 'It was my idea to go and see the fireworks in Nice, it's my fault', please do not listen to those thoughts and challenge them straight away. The reality is that the very nature of a terrorist attack is that it is unavoidable, unpredictable, there is nothing anybody can do better or differently not to make it happen or to protect others. There is nothing that you could have done better or differently. You have already done your best.

If the above symptoms persist after one month, you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress and you may need to consider calling a psychotherapist who is specialised in trauma.
The symptoms of post-traumatic stress are:
  • Re-experiencing the traumatic event in range of sensory forms: some people have disturbing images flashing, or inexplicable physical problems such as bowel problems, shaking. Some people hear things that belong to the traumatic memory, others may experience an odour linked with the traumatic event. Others just keep re-living the traumatic event as though it was happening right now. This set of phenomenon is called a flashback.
  • Avoiding reminders of the trauma by avoiding situations or emotions. For example, you might want to avoid public transport because of an acute fear that another terrorist attack might happen. Or you can numb yourself, shutting off, so that you don't feel anything. We call this dissociation.
  • Chronic hyper-arousal of your nervous system. This is when you are always on alert. Your brain's threat centre, the Amygdala, is in over-drive and unable to calm down. This can cause multiple physical problems like rash, muscle tension, headaches or migraines, unexpected tears, or bouts of anger, IBS, dizziness, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, depression.

These symptoms are very unpleasant to experience. In some cases, they can re-traumatise you. It is important to treat them if you are still experiencing them after one month of the terrorist attack.

For some people, those symptoms can be to a high intensity level which will make it very hard to live a normal life. For example, experiencing very distressing flashbacks on a frequent basis means that you can't function at work, and will probably need to be off sick for a period of time. It can also disrupt your relationships, and can have severe consequences for your well-being. If the symptoms are to the level of intensity that it stops you from living your life, then you may have post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. It is important not to leave PTSD untreated.

Untreated trauma can cause:
  • Acute anxiety and panic attacks
  • Chronic sleep disturbance
  • Loss of appetite
  • Sexual dysfunctions
  • Difficulties with concentration
  • Difficulties with relationships
  • Addiction to substances like drugs, alcohol or behaviours like gambling or sex.
  • Chronic depression
  • Chronic compulsive behaviours, including compulsive eating or binge eating
  • Chronic phobias
  • Chronic irritability, anger or rage and mood swings
  • Acute guilt
  • Acute shame
  • Obsessive negative thoughts.

There are different psychological trauma treatments available. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing) is one of the most effective trauma treatment, which treats flashbacks, regulates the nervous system and processes the traumatic memory so that it stops being disruptive to your life.

For more information on trauma and trauma treatment click here:

Terrorism is happening all over the world and it has become a frequent occurrence to hear about awful attacks on innocent people. Nations are in grief, anger and mourning.

Those of us who were lucky enough not to have been there at the time of a terrorist attack, aren't spared any trauma, unfortunately. Trauma is 'contagious' in a way that if we hear awful traumatic stories, and see pictures of it, we become witness to the traumatic event, and therefore we can also develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress.

These days, it is so frequent to hear of terrorism attacks, as well as other hideous traumatic events that happen to unfortunate people around the world: a baby refugee dying whilst crossing seas, black people being gunned for no reasons, Brexit which torn our nation apart, post-Brexit racism, to name just a few common storylines that populate our newspapers, phones and tablets.
Our nervous system can become overloaded with hearing, watching or listening to too much pain, horror and terror.

Terrorism is a global trauma, and it traumatises us all in some ways. So it is important that we look after ourselves even more than usual:
  • Switch off the news feed, watch a comedy instead.
  • Practice Yoga, for a bit of balance in an unstable world.
  • Self-care: eat good food and have plenty of sleep. 
  • Spend more time with friends and loved ones: hug, laugh, love.

In those dark times, it is important to make more of an effort to open our arms to our loved ones, spend more time with them and cherish those loving relationships.

We are not in control of extremist people wanting to kill us. We are not in control of how our politicians respond to those crisis. But each of us can make a choice of Love. Loving yourself and the people close to you, with no judgements. 

Silva Neves - 25th July 2016

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

My 10 tips for better mental health

What does it mean to have a ‘good mental health’?

This week is World Mental Health Awareness Week. I have decided to write this short blog to make a small contribution.

It is sometimes hard to understand mental health. What is it? What does it mean? Sadly, most of us did not get taught how to look after our mental health when we were children. We might have been taught to eat all our vegetables and to brush our teeth every day. We might have had a gentle kiss from our parents if we fell off a bike and bruised our knees. But we don’t often get taught how to live with our emotions, how to understand them and how to regulate them. Emotional wounds are the bruises that don’t get seen nor soothed. If we got an emotional bruise we might carry it for a long time.

Often, I see clients who come to me because their relationship with their spouse is not going well. They think it is all because of their spouse. Blaming is one way to protect ourselves. However, when they realise that some of the hurt is actually not about the here and now but about an old wound (often a wound from childhood) a lot of my clients are shocked – because they were not even conscious of the wound existing – and then tears roll down their cheeks – because, finally, the bruise is being seen.

Emotional wounding does not only occur because of parents’ mistake. It also happens when life circumstances affect the child’s sensitivity. Some of the more subtle wounds I have heard are:
‘I was the only non-white pupil in my primary school. I knew that I wasn’t like the others then’
‘I wanted to play with Barbies but all the other boys wanted to play with soldiers. I knew something was wrong’
‘My maths teacher told me that I would not amount to anything when I failed the test’
‘We moved house when I was young and I lost all my friends. It was hard to make new friends in the new school’
‘I saw my grandfather die and my mother was depressed afterwards’

When something happens when we are young, we don’t know much about the world so it is hard for us to rationalise, however we are deeply sensitive to our internal world. So, children tend to say to themselves:
‘My mother is sad, it must be my fault. She doesn’t love me anymore’
‘My maths teacher doesn’t like me because I’m bad’
‘I lost of my home and my friends. I’m really sad but my parents tell me I should be happy. There is something wrong with me’
‘I am wrong for wanting to play Barbies’
‘I look different from anyone else, I don’t fit in’

These messages tend to enter our psyche rapidly because we have no other information about the world to compare them to. The messages become core messages so much so that we then carry them all our lives and we make decisions based on them, without being consciously aware of them. Sometimes it is in therapy that these core messages get addressed for the first time.

When we carry these core messages into adulthood they transform into shame ‘I am wrong’, ‘I am bad’. Or they transform into a low sense of self ‘I am not good enough’. These messages can be unconscious but they pull the emotional strings frequently and can present difficulties in the here and now adult life.

Here are my 10 tips to regulate emotions and to look after your mental health.

Looking after your mental health is just as important as looking after your physical health. Some people make the mistake in thinking that if they do a little bit of therapy, they will ‘get it’ and then be fine forever. But this is not so. Looking after your mental health is the same process as looking after your physical health. For example, you wouldn’t think that eating one broccoli a year would constitute a healthy diet. Or going to the gym once in six months would mean a good fitness regime.
It is the same with mental health. Looking after your mental health requires daily conscious decisions. Every day you make the decision to brush your teeth, and you make the decision to eat a fairly balanced diet. And, every day, you have to make a decision about mental well-being.

My suggestions are:
1- Practice mindfulness. The practice of Mindfulness can be simple and individual. It is basically about stopping thoughts rushing through your mind, and stay with the present moment, welcoming feelings as they come in a non-judgmental way. You can join a Mindfulness class. Or you can download an app such as Head Space to help you with it. It is also a good method to cultivate gratitude for the things that you do have in your life, rather than focusing on the things that don’t go so well.

2- Do Yoga. It is a wonderful practice to move your body mindfully and make the often neglected connection between mind and body. Much stress and other emotions are stored in the body. Yoga is a good way to release those emotions stored in the body. It is often a great compliment to talking therapy. I recommend Yoga to many of my clients.

3- Connect with friends, lovers and peers. The brain is the only organ in the body that self-regulates externally with other human brains. Sharing a story, a laugh, some tears is a great way of looking after your mental health. Choose people that you feel completely comfortable with.

4- If you have a spouse or romantic partner, do not miss an opportunity to tell them that you love them or tell them something you appreciate about them whilst you look into their eyes. Being kind to others is good for you!

5- Be selfish. Selfish is a word loaded with a lot of negative thinking. But let’s think about it for a moment. The opposite of selfish is selfless. Selfless means ‘losing your self’. It is often when we lose our self that we become deeply unhappy. Being selfish is a good thing, when done in balance. For example, saying ‘no’ to someone means saying ‘yes’ to yourself. This is self-care.

6- Most importantly, be mindful how you talk to yourself. It can be easy to tell others how good they are, or comfort them or congratulate them. But most of us find it difficult to do the same to ourselves. Pay attention to your own critical voice. If you hear your critical voice, argue with it with kindness. ‘I am good enough because I am a good person, a good friend. And I am intelligent, and I am good at my job even if I sometimes make mistakes. I am a human being’.

7- As well as arguing with your critical voice, make your nurturing voice grow: ‘Good for me for doing this’. ‘Congratulations me!’. ‘I am beautiful’. ‘I am a good person’. Nurturing self-talk is NOT being big-headed. It is being kind to ourselves, and it is our responsibility to our own mental health to be kind to ourselves. Being big-headed is constantly saying to others: ‘I am much better than you’. It is a completely different thing from nurturing self-talk.

8- When intense and uncomfortable emotions come, do not stop them or swallow them. Remind yourselves that emotions come and go all the time, and feeling emotions won’t kill you. Much like an ocean wave, emotions come, peak and get overwhelming for a bit, and then reduce and go. We typically tend to attach stories to emotions to make sense of them: ‘I feel angry because my partner pissed me off, he’s such an asshole!’. If you say this to yourself, the anger feeling will increase and become worse. Emotions do not live in stories. Emotions just are. Try to detach the emotions that you are feeling from any stories. And instead sit with your emotions as they come and use images to understand your emotions: ‘I am feeling angry right now, and this is because I am a human being. My anger today feels like a red sharp triangle in my heart, it’s burning and it is very heavy. Then breathe into that feeling. Soon, it will reduce. It takes practice to understand and self-regulate emotions in that way, but it is possible and it becomes easier the more you do it.

9- Rest. It is so important for your mental health to rest. If you had a busy stressful week, rest at the weekend. Resting can mean different things to different people. Some people enjoy a lie in. Some people read a good book. Some people do baking. Others engage in a hobby that has nothing to do with work. If a lie in is not your way of resting. Still make sure that you get plenty of sleep. Sleeping is when your brain re-calibrates and restores itself.

10- Remind yourself of your bill of rights: ‘I have the right to my own needs and set my own priorities as a person independent of any roles that I may assume in my life. To be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being. To express my feelings. To express my opinions and values. To say yes and no for myself without feeling guilty. To make mistakes. To change my mind. To say I do not understand. To ask for what I want. To get what I pay for. To decline responsibility for other people’s problems. To be listened to. To be taken seriously. To deal with others without being dependent on them for their approval.’

World Mental Health Awareness Week can be an opportunity for you to do something different and look after your mental health just the way you look after your physical health. It all starts with the ‘doing’ something different. Psychological research show that self-efficacy (the I-can-do attitude) is a more important ingredient than self-esteem for happiness.

I wish you all a good week loving yourself, and loving the people close to you.

Thursday, 28 January 2016



What is Chemsex?

It is the behaviour of intentional sex under the influence of psychoactive drugs, mostly among men who have sex with men (MSM).
The drugs used are predominantly mephedrone (GHB) or butyrolactone (GBL) and crystalised methamphetamine. These drugs are often used to facilitate sexual activities lasting several hours and, sometimes, days with multiple sexual partners.

What are the drugs used?

Mephedrone and crystal meth are physiological stimulants increasing the heart rate and blood pressure, triggering euphoria and sexual arousal. GHB and GBL are powerful psychological disinhibitor and also a mild anaesthetic.
These drugs thus increase sexual pleasure with less inhibitions. They sustain arousal and chemically induce a feeling of instant rapport with sexual partners.

Chemsex: an epidemic.

Chemsex behaviours is prevalent in London amongst the gay scene. Researchers also observe the same behaviours in other big cities around the world.
The regulation and monitoring of sex establishments such as saunas make Chemsex behaviours more difficult to engage in. Therefore, most Chemsex behaviours happen in private sex parties, in someone’s home, behind closed doors. These sex parties are also called ‘chill out’ parties. The great escalator to Chemsex behaviours is hook-up apps, such as Grindr, where it is easy to find the nearest ‘chill out’. In a big city, one can be walking into someone’s flat for a ‘chill out’ in only a few minutes.

It is so prevalent amongst gay men and MSM that health professionals are starting to call it the new epidemic affecting the gay scene. It is a hidden epidemic, that causes significant harm to the individuals engaging in Chemsex and the wider gay community.

We call it an epidemic because:
A UK study conducted in 2013 found that 3,000 gay men a month reported using recreational drugs when presenting to a sexual health clinic.

A survey conducted by David Stuart and Johannes Weymann, specialist at 56 Dean Street clinic reported the following worrying statistics:
Out of 874 MSM patients at the first presentation:
70% reported no chem-free sex in previous 6 months.
98% had never accessed statutory drug use support

This is suggesting that a majority of people engaging in Chemsex do not have sex without drugs (or sober sex) for a long period of time. The more people engage in Chemsex, the harder it is to have sober sex.

The Gateway to Chemsex is psychological.

The survey also reveals that Chemsex behaviour tends to accelerate:
Immediately after an HIV diagnosis
Immediately following the break-up of a relationship
Following migration to London

This is an interesting observation. It means that the gateway to Chemsex is mostly psychological: to self-medicate negative feelings regarding HIV diagnosis and relationships ending. It also tells us that gay people who come to London from smaller towns or countries where it is not so comfortable being gay fall into Chemsex rapidly because there is no model on how to manage sexual and romantic feelings with other men. This confirms what I hear in my consulting room on a regular basis:
‘I don’t know any gay men who have steady boyfriends’
‘I have never met someone who doesn’t cheat’
‘All gay men go saunas’
‘What does it mean to have an intimate relationship?’
‘I don’t even know what intimacy means.’

The messages that gay men get from the gay scene is largely about body perfection and is a highly sexualized environment. This brings on an immense pressure to conform to having a great body and always performing sexually. People coming to London may be battling against a set of high expectations in order to be accepted by the gay community. I often hear:
‘My body is just not good enough’
‘I feel ugly most of the time’
‘Who would want me?’
‘I want a boyfriend. I want to feel loved. That is all. But it is so difficult to find one boyfriend who is happy to stick around. It must be because I’m not good looking enough. Or perhaps I’m crap in bed’.
‘I often feel so anxious about having sex. What if my cock is too small? What if I can’t get an erection? It would be disaster’
‘I’m so anxious with the anal thing. I would be mortified if it gets… messy’

Engaging in sex can be tricky: the anxiety of being rejected because their body is not good enough, which in turns, may create erectile problems, which then transforms into ‘I’m not good in bed’, which seems to be the worst that one can be in the gay scene.

As mentioned above, the drugs used increase sexual arousal and decrease inhibition. In an instant, the drugs give the illusion that all of these terrible pressure and anxiety disappear. As soon as one is in the chemical haze of feeling instantly connected sexually with multiple partners, it is the equivalent to finally finding the key to intimacy, connection, acceptance.

It makes sense, therefore, that Chemsex is prevalent in the gay scene. It seems like it is the ‘cure’ to what the gay community has been suffering from: low self-worth.

Chemsex and the trauma of the gay community: the context that we can’t ignore.  

The gay community has a traumatic past. Gay people were jailed and homosexuality was pathologised as a mental health disorder until 1967. Harassment continued a long time after 1967, with many gay men and women fighting for equal rights, marching in the streets whilst stones were thrown at them throughout the 70’s and 80’s. The AIDS crisis in the 80s added another layer of large scale trauma in the gay community. Today, although the UK is one of the wonderful leading countries in LGBT equal rights, where gay men and women can get married, we still hear stories from too many countries where gay men still get jailed and killed. When gay people hear those stories, they can relate to it straight away.
Homophobia is still very much alive.

Chemsex is the illusion of the antidote to homophobia: an instant, deep connection with multiple people, in a safe bubble.

Chemsex, internalised homophobia and shame.

There is another side to the trauma of homophobia. It is insidious, toxic and contagious, just like a virus. When one is feeling rejected because of who they naturally are, a deep psychological phenomenon happens: shame.

Most gay men have a sense of being different from other boys, usually as far back as they can remember, in early childhood. Of course, then, the young boy cannot put words like ‘gay’ or ‘sexuality’ or ‘homophobia’ into those uncomfortable feelings. So, instead, he has to make sense of those feelings the best he can. Often, the young boy translates those feelings into simple phrases such as: ‘There is something wrong with me’. Or ‘I am bad’. Or ‘I am wrong’. Or ‘I am not good enough’. These simple phrases feel so true at the time that they become embedded in the psyche, they become core beliefs, and the young boy grows up until adulthood retaining those core beliefs. By adulthood, those core beliefs are so deep-seated that they are even unconscious. However, being unconscious does not mean dormant. In fact, it is the opposite. Those unconscious core beliefs are dynamic, and they often pull the strings and run the show. It means that an intelligent fully grown man can make decisions based on core beliefs rather than on the reality is that in front of him.

Those core beliefs become triggered especially in situations when we feel vulnerable. We mostly feel vulnerable when we go on a first date. When we have sex. When we try to connect to others. When we want to be liked. When we want to feel accepted. Those core beliefs are the great motor of one of the most distressing human feelings: shame.

Chemsex is prevalent amongst the gay scene because it provides an instant psychological relief to the most painful feelings that many gay men have in common. So why is it bad?

The survey conducted by David Stuart and Johannes Weymann reveals that: 
Chemsex episodes of between 12 to 48 hours are the norm:
12% reported one partner per episode
32% reported 2 or 3 partners per episode
45% reported between 4 and 10 partners per episode
11% reported 10 or more partner per episode

HIV+ve patients not on medications:
64% reported zero condom use for intercourse
10% reported using condoms for intercourse less than 50% of the time

HIV+ve patients on medications:
25% reported zero condom use for intercourse
51% reported using condoms for intercourse less than 50% of the time

HIV –ve patients:
30% had accessed one course of PEP in the previous 2 years
25% had accessed between 2 and 10 courses of PEP in the previous 2 years.
10% reported zero condom use for intercourse
40% reported using condoms for intercourse less than 50% of the time

These statistics show that the likelihood of contracting HIV when engaging in Chemsex is very high. When one feels the illusion of being free of shame, and having an instant deep connection to multiple sexual partners, it is much harder to engage the rational brain about the reality and the consequences of sexual behaviours. In fact, thinking about reality is not desirable because it would spoil the euphoria state that feels so good at the time.

The Chemsex Study published in March 2014 by Adam Bourne, David Reid, Ford Hickson, Sergio Torres Rueda and Peter Weatherburn looked at the links between Chemsex and sex, relationships and intimacy. It supports the psychological evidence that I observe in my psychotherapy consulting room: Chemsex is not only a drug problem. It is a sexual problem, sometimes covering other sexual problems such as erectile dysfunctions. It is a relational problem. It is an intimacy problem. It is a self-esteem and self-worth problem, including body image. It is an internalised homophobia problem. It is governed by deep-seated shame and deep-seated core beliefs about the self.

We form habits, addictions and compulsive behaviours by frequently going down the same pattern of behaviours. In the brain, it creates what we call a neuro-pathway. The more we engage in the behaviour, the stronger the neuro-pathway gets. And the stronger the neuro-pathway gets, the weaker other, healthier neuro-pathways get.
It means that pretty soon, it becomes impossible to feel sexual without drugs.
Sex and drugs become fused, it hijacks the natural arousal template of the individuals. Cues become distorted: for example, the sight of the iphone can be arousing if the individual has the habit of starting the Chemsex behaviour with Grindr, because on iphone there is Grindr, and on Grindr there is Chemsex. The thought of drugs can be the arousing element, rather than the sex itself, etc.

Other than high HIV transmission rate, and the hijacking of sexual arousal, Chemsex has many more negative consequences.
After Chemsex behaviours, when the drugs wear off, there is a crash into reality. When it happens, the negative core beliefs come back with a vengeance, usually much more acute than before starting Chemsex. People often feel intensely ashamed, angry with themselves, disgusting, depressed, anxious, ill, etc.
What seemed to be the ‘magic pill’ to the underlying shame actually makes it worse. And when we feel worse, we need to self-medicate more. A lot of gay men are trapped in that dark cycle of feeling bad and self-medicate, and they can’t see a way out. Indeed, when in that cycle, it is very hard to see a way out, unless you access professional and specialist help.

Other negative consequences include:
1-    More sexual problems: The Chemsex Study (2014) reports: ‘Many participants described how drugs could significantly increase sexual desire or libido, but at the same time diminish sexual performance. Erectile dysfunction under the influence of crystal meth and mephedrone was very widely reported, as was retarded ejaculation. 
2-    Difficulties maintaining a job, sometimes leading to losing a job.
3-    Difficulties maintaining relationships and friendships.
4-    Feeling more and more alienated from the rest of society, including the gay community, unless it is within the Chemsex users.
5-    Feeling depressed and living in despair.
6-    And, of course, the ultimate negative consequence is death. Chemsex does a lot of harm to the body as well as psychologically. Taking an overdose and passing out is common. Many young gay men in their early 30’s with no medical problems died as a direct result of Chemsex. In fact, often, patients come to me for help when they know a friend who died of Chemsex. It is the wake up call that gives them the courage to face their problem and seek professional help.

What does therapy addressing Chemsex look like?

1-    First, we have to address what is urgent: addressing the present behaviours to start to be safe and stopping the self-harming behaviours.
2-    Addressing behaviours to seek more balance in life: how to self-care and nurture ourselves. How to recognise when we are not feeling good about ourselves.
3-    Addressing intimacy issues. Recognising intimacy. Learning to feel vulnerable and intimate without resorting to drugs.
4-    Addressing relationship issues. Finding the map to navigate relationships and connections.
5-    Addressing sexual issues. Re-connecting with the natural arousal template and getting to know ourselves sexually.
6-    Addressing self-esteem and self-worth. Healing the shame and internalised homophobia. Identifying the negative core beliefs and change them to more reality-based, positive core beliefs.
7-    Re-connecting with your daily needs and making the healthy choices to meet those needs.

The therapeutic process is challenging but it is the best gift of love to give to yourself. It is a place where you can start to make long-lasting changes and reconnect to your true self. The investment in therapy is so much less costly than drugs and its negative consequences.

I am a specialist in sex and relationship therapy with years of experience working with gay men. If you feel trapped in the negative cycle of Chemsex, help is available: 
you can call me on 07958320565 or e-mail me on:

If you are not sure about therapy, or if you can't afford the private fees, please do not stay without support! Access 56 Dean Street Clinic in Soho. It is a free NHS service and it is the world’s leading clinic in Chemsex support.